Various mundanities that will remain untroubled by my recklessly uninformed thoughts: an inconclusive list

Caveat: I have been reading A LOT of The New Yorker’s Shouts & Murmurs section, and have definitely internalised it (because I’m a wanker).

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1. Pancake cereal and its potential applications in the savoury arena, eg. tiny mac-and-cheese pancakes residing in the biodome of an ur-mac and cheese. To be eaten at dinner time.  

2. Savoury pancake cereal and its potential applications in the breakfast arena, eg. eaten from a mug during ablutions AKA shower cry time.

3. Pancake cereal (savoury and otherwise) and its role as perishable intellectual property in acrimonious intergenerational custody battle [subtext: we’ve ruined TikTok like we’ve ruined everything else].

4. Chrissy Tegan versus Alison Roman.

5. Katie Hopkins versus Jesy Nelson. 

6. Katie Hopkins versus turn-of-millennium Australian girl group Bardot.

7. Katie Hopkins versus giant hogweed.

8. Crows: doing it on purpose?

9. You said you did not put that thing there but I know you did, and even though you’ve moved it now, rendering the entire point moot, this will remain in my memory for some time to come.

10. Subway!!!!

11. The unassailable and enduring agony that is the gradual coming to terms with not having come up with the term ‘Big Slinky’.

12. Your cat hates me.